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Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Pizza Pal Perishes Pitifully

2007 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

January or February 2001

First hand account -

Dominoes drivers are generally a very smart bunch. They weather storms, hot pizzas, bad directions, and cheap tippers all in the name of customer convenience.

The drivers at the Dominoes in Dunkirk, Maryland are no exception. They drive hard, party hard, and in this case, die hard.

One of the best was a driver I'll call "Ralph". One night "Ralph" was at his parent's home with his girlfriend, and he got the hiccups.

He also had gun (a rifle I think)

Avid readers of the Darwin awards will probably be able to guess what happened next ...

When "Ralph" had the hiccups he liked to aim his gun (unloaded) at his diaphragm, and it always works.

This time it REALLY worked. Surprise, surprise, the gun was LOADED, and "Ralph" became R.I.P.

The odd thing was that all his buddies were so depressed that he died, yet no one mentioned what a DUMB thing it was to do! (and alcohol was NOT involved)

... at least his hiccups never returned...

Submitted on 12/02/2007

Submitted by: Ms. Piggy
Reference:

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
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>> Moderator Scores <<

Bruce said:
Maybe Toss: Too Common
Rule # 1 : Guns are always loaded! Rule # 2 : See Rule # 1 Personally I find it hard to believe that pointing an unloaded gun at himself would cure the hiccups. A common attempt to cure hiccups is to scare the person, but if you know your gun is unloaded and point it at yourself you'd know it's not loaded (see rule #1). In any event I classify this as just another case of foolishness with guns, which is all too common.


Chip said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Well, it IS a Personal Account and I find the method of story telling amusing so I all for this one. Thanks, Ms. Piggy


James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Since this IS a PA, I think it will wash, especially considering the funny write-up! Thanks, Ms. Piggy!


Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest

Hardback. 304 pages. Autographed.
$15
The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is.

Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head!

123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more.

Autographed by Author!

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