(NOTE TO EDITORS: This qualifies for honorable mention as the user was unhurt. It also qualifies as being beyond the statute of limitations. Any use of this outside Darwinawards.com will be dismissed by myself and other parties--namely the Darwin Winner himself--as strictly hypothetical)

Any story that starts with, "Well, I was building a pipe bomb", can never be a good one. Indeed, this story was only bad in that its generator is sadly still well enough to contaminate the gene pool.

Sam is, on the surface, a bright and successful individual with an apetitte for building new things. Things like, axles and pipe bombs. One Sunday, bored and angry the Broncos were losing, Sam decided to try and build a pipe bomb. He welded the pipe and closed one end of it with a weld. Taking every precaution one can take when one is illegally creating high explosives, he was smart enough to let the half-completed project cool down before he put the required gun powder in the pipe. When he was done with that, he noticed he had run out of welding rod and he set the half finished pipe bomb on his scrap metal pile to be completed later.

Pipe bombs, like any other project have a tendency to not stay unfinished for a great deal of time. That's what happened with Sam's project, he simply forgot about the pipe bomb for six summer and fall months.

One day, right before hunting season, Sam was loading his hunting gear when he noticed that a shaft on his pride-and-joy Ford Bronco was cracked. Being an expert welder, Sam decided he could fix the round pipe by himself. He carefully pulled the shaft of the vehicle and cut the broken part away. Needing a piece of pipe to mate to the original, Sam reached into his scrap metal pile and pulled an equal size pipe from the stack. He pulled his welding hood down, struck and arc and then...he remembers a loud bang and not much else.

When I asked him "What happened" the response was the aforementioned story. Eager to corraborate his claim, I looked at, and have still, the photographic evidence.

The arc had detonated the gun powder and blown the bomb up, sending shrapnel all over Sam's enclosed shop which is a floor below his house. It blew a hole up through the roof of the shop, through the living room (underneath the couch) and stuck in a rafter on the third floor of his home. Another piece of shrapnel had blown the top of Sam's welding hood in half, missing his empty skull by less than 1/2 inch.

Sorry to say he walked away without a scratch.

Though Sam lived to tell his Darwin Award tale, the morale of this story is, again, nothing good ever comes from the phrase, "...Well, I was building a pipe bomb".

(NOTE TO EDITORS: I have the evidenciary welding hood and if you're interested, I think I can find the photos of the house--this was about 1999 so I'll need some time--upon request for authentication.)

Submitted on 11/07/2007

Submitted by: Mike Browning
Reference: Personal story (can be verified 100% accurate on request)

Copyright © 2007 DarwinAwards.com

Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: For Darwin's Eyes
Mike, thanks for a great story. If you have photographs from this event please upload them to a site like flickr.com and let us know the URL. I'm sure everybody would love to see them.

Chip said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I agree, those photos would be great! Reminds me of the dude in my town that welded the end of a pipe, put in black powder and then proceded to attempt to make a rocket out of it by welding a metal washer on the other end.. well, you can guess the results. Thanks Mike.

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