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2007 June Slush
(DA) Looney Water Tank Trio
Tombstoning Tradegy
Crook Holds Up Gun Shop
(DA)Not-So-Safe Sex
Roll Bounce
(PA)She Can Do Anything He Can Do
(DA)Men Play Chicken With a Train
A Dope Caught the Train
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(?)Drinking and Biking
Train Driver's Urination Ejection
Burglar crushed by Fan
The woman of his dreams
Tree Removal Expert
3rd time was to far
Man Drowns in Storm Sewer
saussage bang!
(DA)Love You to Death
(DA)Oil Storage Tank jumping
Careless Snake Thief
Man drowns after getting stuck in c
(DA)Two naked people dead after 4-story
(DA)Flash*Boom*Dance!
Suwannee collision kills two cousin
Can you hear me now?
A Penny Saved is a Penny... Melted?
(?)Spitting Contest
Sailing Banana
(DA)Couple Falling off Roof
Trainsurfing
Man dies whilst astral travelling
Flaming Hackysack
(DA)Nude Couple Killed in Fall From Roo
Not So Weir-d Story
Playing Submarine
Teen Dies in Bullet Game.
(?)Spit,splat.smash!
16 wheeler closelined
Old Indian Remedy
balls in mousetrap
Stuck in Storm Sewer
Astral Travel
(DA)Oil Tank Flying Lessons
Explosive Pranks
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Lookout Above!
Not quite a Darwin, maybe next time
Head First for a Phone
Mr.
Man dies in war against germs.
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Darwin Awards
2007 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Playing Submarine

2007 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Here's the story about a woman who almost drowned to death. Now, she didn't do it in a swimming pool or the ocean or someplace sensible. No, if she did that, how could she get an honorable mention? Here's how it probably went. 1) Rain floods rivers. One in particular is in a valley with a very low bridge. 2) Police block off said river with cruisers that have their lights going. One is at the edge of the water, the other is blocking the intersection so drivers do not need to turn around and come back. Now here's where things get stupid. 3) A woman drives up, sees the first cruiser, and decides to blow past it. Here's the thing. The water has turned the ground into something other than mud. This is in the backwoods, in a place that even the local people consider to be the middle of nowhere. The ground is saturated to the point that it's not mud anymore, it's closer to quicksand or something. I would know, I was in the area when I heard it on the radio. It later made it into the news. At this point, one would see the second cruiser and the water, and turn around. that's not how this went. 4) The woman sees the second cruiser, also with lights flashing, and decides to blow past it and play submarine in the flooded river. 5) The woman gets stuck, and needs rescue. The police blockading the river, in a moment of stupidity themselves, call in a rescue team instead of letting her drown to death. 6) The rescue team from Wylie, the nearest town, arrives and saves the woman. It's honestly surprising that the woman lived this long with a brain like that. It makes one wonder how long she'll live now that she's been rescued.

Submitted on 06/27/2007

Submitted by: Russell Golden
Reference: The Wylie News, 6/27/2007

Copyright © 2007 DarwinAwards.com

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Chip said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
Russell, we appreciate that you sent us this story, and your fine write up. Normally stupid people getting stuck in floods are hardly worth noticing any more. But the fact that she drove right past TWO police cars attempting the block the road raises this above the noise level. Thanks again.

James said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
Apparently, this happened a couple of months ago in Wylie, Texas (which has endured a LOT of flooding this past spring and even now). To just ignore police cruisers whose SOLE purpose is to prevent accidents is certainly worthy of an HM, and I too wonder how long she'll last until she has her next bout of cranial flatulence!

Darwin Awards II: Unnatural Selection

Hardback. 240 pages. Autographed.
$15
A fresh collection of magnificent misadventures! Lust, Vanity, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Envy, and Wrath extract an evolutionary toll on the wicked. Salute the owner of an equipment training school who demonstrates the dangers of driving a forklift by failing to survive the filming of his own safety video. Witness the man who becomes a victim of his own strange passion for jumping into rivers. Heed the honest bricklayer who loses a battle of wits with 300 pounds of tools.

This book includes more History of the Awards, Gordon's Law, and 10 discussions of evolution, including speciation and the role of verbal memes in civilization.

Autographed by Author!

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