One day he and I were trying to clear a stump from a backyard and it was suggested that we use a nearby 2-gallon gas container and some matches. So my friend Jarrett takes the container and starts pouring gas down into a hole running under the stump. After 30 seconds or so I told him to stop so I could throw a match down there. He acted like he didn't hear me and continued to pour gas so I repeated my words louder. Again he didn't seem to hear me so this time I shouted to him (acrossthe space of about a foot) to stop pouring because I was going to throw a match ready-or-not. Yet again he paid me no attention so I lit the match and threw it toward the hole where the gas was going. Unfortunately, and quite predictably, the match not only exploded the gas under the stump, but also followed the gas up into the container; and the only thing I can recollect for the next 2 minutes was a loud BOOOOM! The next thing I knew I was sitting on the ground a dozen feet from the obliterated stump and Jarrett was sitting a same distance from the otherside of what was now a 3-foot hole. Amazingly enough he still had the handle for the gas can clutched in his hand, although that was all that was left of the container. Luckily we suffered no permanent injuries other than some hearing loss but he does twitch from time to time...

Another time involved burning a 6-foot pile of brush with diesel. Now our first attempt to burn the pile involved pouring a trail of diesel into the pile of brushing hoping to catch it on fire. Unfortunately shortly after we lit this trail it died out. So Jarrett, Mr. More Brawns Than Brains, takes the diesel can and starts putting down another line of deisel right on top of the smoldering recently-dead line, despite my objections. He had gotten most of the way to the pile, and was standing over the deisel line, when the end that he had started it at caught fire. So I shouted out to him to look behind him and he sees a line of flame rapidly approaching his feet. Immediately he chunked the deisel can over his shoulder and ran peel-mell for the nearest fence. Luckily the container did not catch fire and Jarrett sustained no injuries but not for lack of trying.

Submitted on 02/24/2007

Submitted by: Joseph Austin
Reference: Jefferson, Texas around 2001

Copyright © 2007 DarwinAwards.com

James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Well-done, Joseph! You two could give Laurel and Hardy a run for their money! Needless to say, I think you have to own YOUR share of the blame for the outcome of the first episode (you did light the match,after all!), but otherwise we have a pretty funny PA here! Thanks so much for contributing!

Graham said:
Neutral: Personal Account
I wonder what percentage of stories we receive involve gasoline (or diesel)? Thanks Joseph, lucky escape there.

Chip said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Keep trying and the two of you may just achieve fame here yet! But make sure that your attempt is well documented. Thanks for the story, Joseph. I got a chuckle out of this one.