Slush Pile: (HM) Return of the 'Fireworks' Gene

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2007 January Slush

(?) Miner Drills Into (Omitted Body Part)

(DA) Mole Hunt

(DA) Read the Manual First

(DA) Do it yourself Mole Killer

(DA)Electronic Fireworks

(?) Sleighride junkie

(PA) Who Needs a Gag Reflex

(HM) Return of the 'Fireworks' Gene

(?) Standing on a Car Roof.

(PA) Darwin Electrician

(DA) Gravity Still Works

(HM)Hurdles

(HM)There's Gas. I need a lighter!

(HM)Prank Goes Awry

Roasted wife beater scrotum

Into the breech my friends!

Gun Cleaning

Caught yellow-handed

sat nav takes woman onto railw

bomb 101

A Farmer & his Ute.

(HM)Stormwater Surfer

partygoer dies in fall

Dumb Crook v. Hermit

The Horse Trainer

Fall vacation from HELL

OUT WITH THE RUBBISH

Going South

Brotherly Love

Real star wars story

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2007 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Return of the 'Fireworks' Gene

2007 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Darwin says, "Thanks for the submission, and also the great write-up, Kim! Although this story is not quite right for the archive, this fellow was certainly foolish, and it's a great addition to the Slush Pile. Another story of yours *did* make it into the archive recently, as a Personal Account: Hook, Line, and Sinker"

Every year, at New Year's celebrations world wide, somebody gets hurt with fireworks. Most of them accidentially, but some makes me wonder...

Here in Sonderborg, Denmark, a 41-year old male had one of those accidents. He apparently felt that his excellent Fireworks genes put him well above the law (as we all know, the law is for mere mortals), so he got himself some real firecrackers - of the kind that kan make a bomb squad expert cringe!

Leaving the upper end of the city's pedestrian zone, he decided to brighten up peoples night - after all it was only short before 0500, so nobody ought to be in bed yet, right?

He got one of his boomers out, lit the fuse... and spotted a Police patrol car, with the patrolling cops inside, right in front of him! His brain shorted. Perhaps the law _would_ like to discuss his oversized cracker (and ego) a bit more in detail?

Now what to do? Best if they don't notice in the first place, right? So he did as any 5-year old would do with a stolen lollipop - clenched the lit mega-firecracker in his fist, and hid it behind his back...

Somehow, the patrol did notice. And were able to give first aid, until the ambulance arrived.

I think this bloke deserves an Honourable Mention - and i can hardly wait until New Years night 2008. With his bad hand, he may decide to stick the next one in his trouser pocket...

More (in Danish) on http://www.jv.dk/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070101/SOENDERBORG/701010361/1006

Submitted on 01/02/2007

Submitted by: Kim B.Christensen
Reference: JydskeVestkysten, 1/1 2007

>> Moderator Scores <<

Graham said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
Thanks, Kim. This is one of the best stories in a LONG time! I'll recommend it for an Honorable Mention. I also liked the humor in your write-up.

James said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
I concur! While fireworks accidents tend to border on too common, I like this one because of the write-up and the fact that the victim was 41...WAY old enough to know better! Thanks, Kim!

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Heavy 100% cotton, black Hanes Beefy-T with an inadvisable cigarette break on the front... a smoking crater on the back! Click on the image for a full view. Based on true stories. Errata: TNT will not explode in the presence of a lit cigarette. The man was actually sitting on a crate of gelignite.
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2007 Slush Pile

Return of the 'Fireworks' Gene

2007 Reader Submission Pending Acceptance

2007 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance