Charles Darwin's Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
Honorable Mentions
Urban Legends
Personal Accounts
Slush Pile
2006 September Slush
Blind man caught driving!!
Suggestion
Sturgeon Rough Ride
The Joys of Skitching
Tour de No Pants
Panda Bites Man, Man Bites Him
Bushed
Once is a Mistake, But Twice?
Quick Draw- Wrong Target
Keep the fighting in the Ring
Man Eats Bomb
Lost in the Outback... twice
One lucky jamoke
Is it Stuck?
The Least Compitent Criminal
Poor choice of location
exploding underwear
Walk on Water
Thats One Way to Cure It
Bumbling Brit
Grouper's revenge
Electrocuting fishes
The Headless Streaker
Mr Jiggywinkle
Mr. Electricity
Rock Solid
tight arse
Running Nowhere
Man vs. Fish, Fish wins...
Man on ATV Dies Jumping Canal
Unnatural urchin act
Maxim Dorkii
Stunt bike Taxi (Revised)
Stuck in the ventilation shaft
Run From The Tree
Locked IN the Car?
Biscycle to the nuts
Older Slush 
 
~ Randomizer ~
Newsletter
Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2006 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

tight arse

2006 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

afew years ago my uncle mac took his family on holiday. they were getting ready for their first night out and my uncle mac, reknown for being stingy, announced, "last one out buys dinner" and thus ensued a mad rush for the door. now overwhelmed by his own cunning idea, mac decided the balcony would make for a much speidier exit...quickly finding himself on the concrete floor 15 feet below.

with 2 shattered ankles.

to anyone else this could be seen as a tragic accident in unfaniliar circumstances, however what i didnt mention is that mac actually [part owns the apartment, and has visited every year for the last 5 so should have been well aware of the consequences of jumping from a 2nd floor window.

Submitted on 09/04/2006

Submitted by: adelle hill
Reference: u8nfortunately none

Copyright © 2006 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
Love it! Hate it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

James said:
Neutral: Personal Account
This one's funny enough to be considered as a Personal Account! I like the way you described your uncle as "stingy", and his eagerness NOT to be the last one out cost him BIG in the hospital bill department! :-) Good submission, Adelle, brief though it was; I got a chuckle out of it!


Sheryl said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Okay, I'll go with this, there are enough elements in the story to show that Uncle Mac should have known better! Thanks for the story, Adelle.


Fitzroy said:
Neutral: Personal Account
In younger days I would have thought nothing of dropping 15' onto a hard surface. Then again, in younger days I had the body of a marathoner (and I began to lose it after an ankle sprain from leaping down a stairway -- go figure.) As others point out, it is more the context than the fall itself that makes this one an entertaining Personal Account.


Jorge said:
Neutral: Personal Account


Graham said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
I'm guessing uncle 'Mac' has been watching too many movies where the star drops 15-20 feet to the ground below, with no ill-effects. It appears this is not actually the case. Two broken ankles sounds about right. He's lucky he did not kill himself in this caper! Funny though. I wonder if he'll do it again?


The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest

Hardback. 304 pages. Autographed.
$15
The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is.

Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head!

123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more.

Autographed by Author!

 

 

Slush Pile
Slush Pile Rejects


Advanced Search

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend