During the summer of 1988, I worked at Parkland Hospital in Dallas, TX as a volunteer. I asked to work in Neurology, but they stuck me in Urology. While initially disappointed, I soon discovered that the experience would provide me with a font of bizarre (if not always hilarious) anecdotes.

On July 27th, 1988, a couple of the docs offered to let me observe a rather disturbing surgery. A man, who had claimed to have been drunk at the time, decided that his penis was too small. So he used a syringe to inject Vaseline under the skin, presumably to increase his girth. However, an infection developed, and the docs were having to remove all the skin from his penis and were going to (I think they said) have to do some sort of skin graft & reconstruction.

Being a fairly chaste young woman of 17 at the time, I said that I didn’t want that to be my first in-depth look at a penis, which I figured would ruin sex for me before I even got out of the gates, so to speak.

That was my last day, and I don’t know how the patient did. Even if he lived, I don’t know that he’d have ended up sterile, so this may not even rate an Honorable Mention.

I don’t think that this would’ve been in the paper. I have the names of several of the docs & residents I worked with, but I can’t remember exactly who did the surgery. I pulled out my journal from then, and all I’ve got is that “they” offered to let me see the surgery.

K. Reed

Submitted on 03/09/2006

Submitted by: Kristen Reed
Reference: Pers. Acct. 7-27-88

Copyright © 2006 DarwinAwards.com

James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
That must have been traumatic, Kristen! I will definitely accept this as a PA (hell, you even remembered the date)! I'm no doctor, but I can say with certainty that this is at least an HM. I'm left wondering about the mising details. Did he stare at his penis all night while drinking and have this wond'rous revelation while in his cups, or did someone put him up to it? We may never know, but your story made me cringe and laugh! Thanks for the submission! :-)

Sheryl said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I suspect you'd have preferred Neurology. Nice write up and thanks.

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