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Oh Bouy, Here We Go Again!
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Darwin Awards
2005 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Fishy Fueling Fiasco

2005 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

This is a rewrite of http://www.darwinawards.com/slush/new/pending20050623-175023.html

Boating organizations like the US Coast Guard Auxiliary and US Power Squadron routinely teach new boaters about the hazard of gasoline vapors, which are heavier than air. Unlike a car, where spilled gasoline can quickly dissipate, boats can collect gasoline vapors in their interior. Even a few ounces of spilled fuel is enough to spark an explosion when the boats engines are started. Unfortunately boat owners in many parts of the US are not required to take any sort of safe boating course, and as a result the US Coast Guard responds to approximately 150 boat explosions a year, most within feet of fueling docks.

It is obvious that our hero did not take one of these recommended safe-boating courses. It’s also likely that he never graduated high school, or for that matter even passed remedial math. While at a fishing camp in Georgia, our hero discovered that his boat was running low on fuel so he did what any boater would do: he pulled up to a fuel dock and started filling the tanks. Somehow this intrepid fisherman managed to perform a seemingly impossible task – pumping 262 gallons of gasoline into a tank that only holds 200 gallons. Despite warnings from a bystander (who obviously graduated from a safe-boating course), our hero immediately hopped back into his boat and fired up the engines, which promptly ignited the excess fuel that had spilled into the boats bilge. Witnesses reported that the resulting explosion ripped off clothing and skin from the Darwinian contender, not to mention sending the boat itself down to Davy Jones' Locker. At last report he was in critical condition at a trauma center burn unit, so it is unclear at this point if he will be eligible for a Darwin Award or just an Honorable Mention.

Submitted on 09/26/2005

Submitted by: Bruce Pennypacker
Reference:

Copyright © 2005 DarwinAwards.com

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Greg said:
Definitely Toss: Repeat
We've got this. Thanks.


Jack said:
Definitely Keep: For Darwin's Eyes
Here's the better write-up that we were looking for on the "262 goes in 200 how high?" story. Thanks, Bruce!


James said:
Definitely Keep: For Darwin's Eyes
I'm with Jack on this one. The write-up is MUCh better!


Darwin Awards II: Unnatural Selection

Hardback. 240 pages. Autographed.
$15
A fresh collection of magnificent misadventures! Lust, Vanity, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Envy, and Wrath extract an evolutionary toll on the wicked. Salute the owner of an equipment training school who demonstrates the dangers of driving a forklift by failing to survive the filming of his own safety video. Witness the man who becomes a victim of his own strange passion for jumping into rivers. Heed the honest bricklayer who loses a battle of wits with 300 pounds of tools.

This book includes more History of the Awards, Gordon's Law, and 10 discussions of evolution, including speciation and the role of verbal memes in civilization.

Autographed by Author!

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