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2005 September Slush
smokin' bandit
Rocky the Frying Squirrel
Spear Fishing II
Flying Blind (It Would Seem)
Hydro extracted
Tree Catapult
Star Trek Cannon
Crime pays...not!
Old mine still has OOMPH!
Pricked in the prick
Those Who Dare to Rob the Mob
Fishy Fueling Fiasco
Oh Bouy, Here We Go Again!
Going downhill
Save the Hedgehogs
Marine Mechanic Mishap
Don
Signs of war...
Dog Shoots Man - More URLs
Skateboard Luge
Lawnmower Love
Home Made BUllets
Chemical Warfare For Beginners
Man dies, 100,000 lose power
Neighbors Delight Rabid Idocy
Least Competent Criminal
Re: Dog Shoots Hunter
Penis Knot
Mirror, mirror, on the wall
Doctor's Orders Smorders
shake rattle and boom
Chopper vs Pipeline
Mountain Biking Mishap
Flamethrowing Fire Extinguishe
What was she thinking?
Nordic Lightning
Ski Jumper... Not.
Tooth fish captain dies in alc
an does "Spidey" Leap, Falls
Re: Flying Blind
Dog shoots hunter
Woman run over, killed on I-15
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Darwin Awards
2005 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Chemical Warfare For Beginners

2005 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

I do temporary work in various locations, one of which is a small chemical plant. Whilst there, I heard several cautionary tales about safety proccedures. Most were run-of-the-mill, mostly to do with not wearing proper protective gear, but this was a bit special: Some months prior to my arrival, a young man had been set the task of emptying returned containers prior to them being washed out and reused. For this purpose, two large receptacles made from cut-down 100-ltr containers were provided. The containers were a mixture, containing both acids and alkalines. The man operating the drum washer (apparently you need special training to stick eight largish plastic drums on a platform and press a button) carefully explained which receptacle to pour which substance into, and each container was clearly marked according to international standards. However, either through carelessness or in the spirit of scientific enquiry, the young man eventually made a mistake and dumped a load of acid into a vat of assorted alkaklines (or possibly vice versa), compounding the mistake by making it with a container that had got contaminated and was nearly half full. Result: A choking cloud of chlorine gas billowed across the washing station, obliging both of them to run for their lives; they were working in the open air, and therefore were not issued with respirators. No injuries were incurred from the incident, though the senior man present would have cheerfully castrated the culprit if he'd had his way, and the young agency employee was transferred somewhere he couldn't fabricate weapons of mass destruction. Agency employees have since been restricted to less hazardous substances such as demineralised water, since the only way to do yourself a mischief with THAT is to drink it. PS: The incident described above took place in full view of a major railway line, so could anybody who witnessed this spectacular incident please get in touch?

Submitted on 09/10/2005

Submitted by: James
Reference: Word of mouth

Copyright © 2005 DarwinAwards.com

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Kelly said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I like this one. Since it's just a tale told by someone else, it's not really your personal account but i'd still like to keep it.

Charles said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I'll agree with Kelly on this one. Besides, if we add it to the slush pile, we may yet get verification...

The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

Darwin Awards II: Unnatural Selection

Hardback. 240 pages. Autographed.
$15
A fresh collection of magnificent misadventures! Lust, Vanity, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Envy, and Wrath extract an evolutionary toll on the wicked. Salute the owner of an equipment training school who demonstrates the dangers of driving a forklift by failing to survive the filming of his own safety video. Witness the man who becomes a victim of his own strange passion for jumping into rivers. Heed the honest bricklayer who loses a battle of wits with 300 pounds of tools.

This book includes more History of the Awards, Gordon's Law, and 10 discussions of evolution, including speciation and the role of verbal memes in civilization.

Autographed by Author!

 

 

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