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2005 August Slush
NO EVIDENCE OF RIPPING
Darmer's Determination
Hot Sauce+Bragging= Suffering
Darwin: Take Two!
Scratching head with pistol
"I dare you to touch that"
Dustbuster Rescue Deja Vu
Trailor Trash
Boil your own linseed oil?
Wrong Way To Hitch A Ride
Evacuate with 'Bomb'?
Shocking Sex
Slick Engineer Cools Down
Idiot having a dental check
Killer Bees or Killer Supidity
Man Dies Riding Under Truck
Hit the Slopes...Hard
Snack for the Gators
re:NO EVIDENCE OF RIPPING
Jack-knifed trailer kills man
Caution, Speed "hump" ahead
Ready, set, go, OUCH!
Let's Go Feed The Crocs
Computergames+50 hours=dead
Engine sucks captain's hair in
Re: Rooster Blood
Re: EATEN BY HIS PET SPIDERS
31-year-old dies after attempt
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Darwin Awards
2005 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Dustbuster Rescue Deja Vu

2005 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Fort Collins, Colorado. Mid-nineties.

A friend of mine is an EMT and was relating stories of human stupidity. EMT's apparently get the same sort of exposure to the cream of the crop that emergency room nurses do... She is also a volunteer firefighter. In an emergency, she's likely to be called.

It's not unusual to be called to "rescue" someone from a sex toy such as a cockring. Being called to rescue a guy from a Dustbuster WAS unusual. The slit in a Dustbuster is very narrow and once enlarged, a penis would be very hard to remove from that constriction. The man in question inserted a tender body part into the front end of the Dustbuster and enjoyed the tight confines, vibration, and warmth. However, the removal was a bit more difficult...impossible, really. Embarrassed, our Vacuum-Valentino called for an EMT and my friend was one of the responders who released him from his vibrating plastic prison.

She was also a responder a few weeks later. Same man, same problem, same EMT...new Dustbuster.

Submitted on 08/28/2005

Submitted by: Amy Miller
Reference:

Copyright © 2005 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
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>> Moderator Scores <<

Kelly said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Ok, people having intimate encounters with machinery is becoming real common, but the fact that it was the same guy 2 weeks in a row with the same piece of equipment makes it unusual enough for me to want to keep.


Tracy said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
This earns a HM in my mind - to try it once is stupid, twice is just plain barmy! Any verifiable link?


Jack said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I'll go with Kelly on this - because of the rules that professionals have to live with, they can't give us references - but I can't help but be amused by the story. This guy is definitely a DA candidate in the making!


The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

Darwin Awards II: Unnatural Selection

Hardback. 240 pages. Autographed.
$15
A fresh collection of magnificent misadventures! Lust, Vanity, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Envy, and Wrath extract an evolutionary toll on the wicked. Salute the owner of an equipment training school who demonstrates the dangers of driving a forklift by failing to survive the filming of his own safety video. Witness the man who becomes a victim of his own strange passion for jumping into rivers. Heed the honest bricklayer who loses a battle of wits with 300 pounds of tools.

This book includes more History of the Awards, Gordon's Law, and 10 discussions of evolution, including speciation and the role of verbal memes in civilization.

Autographed by Author!

 

 

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