Slush Pile: Stairway to Heaven

HOME
Darwin Awards
Honorable Mentions
Urban Legends
Personal Accounts
Slush Pile

2004 July Slush

Loving your shotgun

Death by Electro Stimulation

Stairway to Heaven

Exploding Pants

Concealed Weapon

Kangaroo Boxing

Using Feet to Steer Kills Bike

Tree felling best left to pros

Man Gesturing at Trains

Fork Lift & Oven

Slush Pile

~ Randomizer ~

Newsletter

Book T-Shirt Etc.

Rules – Search

Contact Darwin

SiteMap

Home

2004 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Stairway to Heaven

2004 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Tallahassee, FL - 24-year-old college student Brian McGregor was returning to his car after a night out with his friends. He was severly inebriated and as he reached the 5-story parking garage he had a genius idea. The Kleman Plaza parking garage has a huge spiral stairway that goes from the top 5th level all the way down to the 1st, with a nice shiny banister just waiting for a passing idiot. McGregor decided that, despite his state of intoxication, he would attempt to slide down the banister, all the way from the 5th story where he was at. He kicked his daring feat into gear by hopping onto the banister; unfortunately, he never made it, hopping over it instead. According to witnesses he wasn't even close. And thus our Darwin Award hopeful plunged 52 feet straight to his death.

Submitted on 07/27/2004

Submitted by: Jordan
Reference: Tallahassee Democrat, 7-21-04

>> Moderator Scores <<

Charles said:
Neutral: Darwin Award
A classic example of the purifying effects of alcohol on the gene pool. However, it lacks a certain... zing... that would make it a sure contender.

Jack said:
Neutral: Darwin Award
I agree with Charles, it does lack that certain something. And if it were not that the young man missed the banister, I'd have considered this too common. Perhaps a better writeup is needed?

Tracy said:
Maybe Toss: Lacks Excellence
Just another drinking accident

Daniel said:
Maybe Toss: Too Common
Drunks and parking lots.

Gary said:
Neutral: Darwin Award
This is my first moderation, and as such I'm reluctant to take the "plunge" and recommend for a full-Darwin. While alcohol and death are fast friends, they're an all too common occurance to justify every one for a Darwin. If there were some in-depth commentary from witnesses describing his decision perhaps this story would have merited an upgrade.

The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards Condom

Keep yourself out of the gene pool!
A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item!
Friends don't let friends reproduce!
$13 for Pack of 4

Slush Pile
Slush Pile Rejects

Home Rules FAQs Awards Slush Site Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend

2004 Slush Pile

Stairway to Heaven

2004 Reader Submission Pending Acceptance

2004 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance