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2004 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
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Loving your shotgun

2004 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

As a devoted follower of the Darwin Awards and a biologist myself, I couldn't pass up an opportunity to share with everyone this little gem that demonstrates multiple levels of stupidity.

After drinking 15 pints of good British beer(which is quite a bit stronger than the watered-down brew familiar to us Americans), 28 year old David walker became mad at a friend at a local pub. (Error in judgement #1)

Not wanting to lose face, our young hero decided to stagger home to retrieve his illegal sawed-off shotgun and thus end the argument. (Error in judgement #2)

To compound his first two mistakes, he then proceeded to load his gun, disengage the safety and stuff the gun into his pants to carry it back to the pub. (Errors in judgement numbers 3, 4 and 5.)

His final and biggest error in judgment was in thinking that testicles are bulletproof, because somewhere along they way back to the pub, the shotgun discharged and did extensive damage to his reproductive organs.

What the pellets failed to remove, doctors completed in a surgery referred to as an orchiectomy, a term which sounds quite a bit more gentile than having your testicles blown off by a shotgun.

an jailed after shooting his testicles Tue 13 July, 2004 19:28

LONDON (Reuters) - A British man who accidentally shot himself in the testicles after drinking 15 pints of beer has been jailed for five years for possessing an illegal firearm, a court spokesman says.

David Walker, 28, was arguing with a friend at a pub in South Yorkshire when he went home to get his sawn-off shotgun, which he jammed into his trousers.

But as he walked back to the pub, the gun went off, blasting pellets into his testicles. Doctors later removed what remained of his testicles during emergency surgery.

Walker admitted possessing a prohibited weapon at a hearing in June at the court in Sheffield.

Submitted on 07/21/2004

Submitted by: Bob R.
Reference: Reuters, July 13, 2004

Copyright © 2004 DarwinAwards.com

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Bill said:
Definitely Keep: Darwin Award
Although another version of this is already wending its way, I find this version better written and deserves to be seen.


Charles said:
Definitely Keep: Darwin Award
Have to agree with Bill. This one merits keeping.


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