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2003 December Slush

Some people never learn

All Things Must Pass

Short Cut Cut Short

Down AND Out!!

Industrial Idiocy.

Going out with a bang

Died of dehydration

ER Doc Disables Seat Belt

Human Pinata

Leap of Faith

Snap Ring Snaps

I like my bike

Don't Break The Ice

Aviation fire bugs

Car won't start!

Three Robbers, No Aim

Baghdad

Congratulations, inmate!

Snakes don't know kindness

The Human Pinata in Mexico

machette

"They'll Never Find Us Here"

Dog Wins

Fall guy faces bungy team wrat

DRUNKEN SNOWTUBER

Extreme Skiing injury

Bungy jumping - sans rope

Stolen Compressor Kills Thief

Smoking Bum

Never leave water behind

Flaming Frathouse Cocktail

Inner tube rider slams into co

sic semper robbie williams fan

Head for the Euro Summit

stupid prank gone bad

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2003 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Down AND Out!!

2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

I was walking home from an office party in Hastings, England at about 2a.m. on a December morning when I spotted a pair of legs dangling over a garden wall - the legs where in jeans but had no shoes and socks. It seemed to me to be obvious that the person was drunk and asleep in the garden on the other side of the wall. Being a charitable kind of person, I decided to wake the person up and send him home before he froze to death. I slapped the feet to get a response but there wasn't one, so I decided to go round the wall and give him a slap round the face to wake him up. Imagine my surprise when I found the top half, bare-chested and cold, but missing his head! I called the police who dealt with the situation; though I had to go to the man's inquest. It turns out that the man lived at that property, but in a flat on the fourth floor. Rather than go in the main door of the house and wake all the tenants up at 2 in the morning, it was more convenient for him to go up the fire escape to the top floor and into his flat via the door there. In his inebriated state it seemed to him even more convenient to be undressed and ready for bed by the time he got in through the door. So, by the time he got to the last flight, he was taking off his socks. All things considered, standing on one leg, drunk, and on a steep fire escape very high up with your hands otherwise engaged is just begging for the sure hand of gravity to drop you from the gene pool. By the way - he landed on his nut which was buried in the ground underneath him, which is why I couldn't find it.

Submitted on 12/30/2003

Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference: 1990 - Personal, Coroner, Cops

>> Moderator Scores <<

Jack said:
Maybe Toss: Other
I dunno - I have mixed feelings about this one. If he fell off of a fire escape, how did he land partially hanging over a garden wall?

Charles said:
Neutral: Darwin Award
Another shining example of the effects of alcohol in cleansing the gene pool. Front gardens in European cities in general are quite small, so I can see this happening very easily; but I do suspect that our victim might have had a different motive for taking off his shoes and socks: to wit, not waking up his flatmate who would be ticked at him for waking him up, or getting blitzed without him.

Greg said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Drunks falling down and doing serious injury are quite common.

Daniel said:
Neutral: Personal Account
A harrowing experience, no doubt. Stupid drunk tricks are pretty common.

Darwin said:
Definitely Keep: Darwin Award
Very amusing! And an eyewitness account! Thanks very much, and please write back with the version you find in the local newspaper -- I want to confirm this one and call him a Darwin!

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2003 Slush Pile

Down AND Out!!

2003 Reader Submission Pending Acceptance

2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance