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Darwin Awards
2003 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Some people never learn

2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

I got a visit from an old friend today, and as I was telling him about the Darwin Awards website he relayed this story to me.

You see Ian (my friend) works as a paramedic in Boston, Massachusetts. Now the Boston area was just hit with the biggest blizzard to hit in early December in history. Some towns got hit with as much as three feet of snow. So Ian and his partner are being kept pretty busy taking care of snow related injuries when they get a call that a man has just lost some fingers to a snow blower. He thinks, “Great another dumbass that can’t keep his hands out from were they don’t belong.” So they show up at the guys house, go in, and find a gentleman with his left hand all bandaged up.

They ask him what happened?

He replies that his snow blower got jammed and he lost three fingers when he reached into it to un-jam it.

At this point, as Ian is starting to examine the wound, he notices the man has a prosthetic right hand. So Ian asks him what happened to that hand.

The man Says “Oh that happened last year. You see that same snow blower got jammed during last years’ big storm and I lost my right hand when I reached into it to un-jam the thing.”

Needless to say my friend was speechless!!

Obviously this is Darwin at work.

Submitted on 12/09/2003

Submitted by: Scotty P
Reference: Personal account of a friend

Copyright © 2003 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
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>> Moderator Scores <<

Daniel said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
The connection is tenous but the stupidity is priceless!

Charles said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I agree with Daniel on this one -- with two prosthetic hands, maybe he'll poke his head in next time? This is the class of stupidity that makes for a Darwin.

Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest

Hardback. 304 pages. Autographed.
$15
The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is.

Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head!

123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more.

Autographed by Author!

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