Darwin Awards: 2003 August Slush Pile

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2003 August Slush
Power Guy
Screwy Louie
Paint Thinner
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The Ultimate Quest for Airtime
niagra "falls"
Shortcut under semi-trailer
An Earache Too Far
Crushed Car Criminal
TV Hurricane
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Project first, then sleep
Buried Alive
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Redneck Pest Control
Pedestrian killed on Whyte Ave
Lets kid drive car and drowns
Driving Lesson
Dark Rhum that turned green
Hey! Pay Attention!
BRIT TOURIST KILLED BY DUSTCAR
Why not to wear a Ski Mask at
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Darwin Awards
2003 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
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Crushed Car Criminal

2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

In the spring of 2001 I was a junior doctor working in the casualty department of a quiet rural hospital. On the night shift things were ordinarily fairly quiet, so I was interested to hear that we had an unusual car-related injury coming in. The patient had been found crushed in the door frame of a luxury sedan, trapped between a gate post and the door on one side, and the body of the car on the other. It transpired that this wasn't his car. He had been trying to steal it from outside an occupied house without alerting the owners. He successfully got the door open, but from here on things went pear-shaped. For some reason, he decided to push the car down the steep incline of the drive, rather than climb in and coast. He failed to steer away from the gatepost and then got wedged. Now here's the really stupid part: He wasn't killed immediately, so why didn't he sound the horn for some help? Better to be a live prisoner than a Darwin!

Submitted on 08/01/2003

Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference: Personal account

Copyright © 2002 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
Love it! Hate it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

Gregory said:
Neutral: Darwin Award
one more to make the slush pile...

Bill said:
Neutral: Darwin Award
Agreed.

Jack said:
Neutral: Darwin Award
I agree with my colleagues.

Bert said:
Neutral: Darwin Award
Agree it could use a bit better write up-

Charles said:
Neutral: Darwin Award
I'm assuming from the context that he did die from his injuries. This is unusual; as told a little too dry to be amusing, but I can see the potential here. Perhaps with a rewrite? Let the readers decide...

Darwin Awards II: Unnatural Selection

Hardback. 240 pages. Autographed.
$15
A fresh collection of magnificent misadventures! Lust, Vanity, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Envy, and Wrath extract an evolutionary toll on the wicked. Salute the owner of an equipment training school who demonstrates the dangers of driving a forklift by failing to survive the filming of his own safety video. Witness the man who becomes a victim of his own strange passion for jumping into rivers. Heed the honest bricklayer who loses a battle of wits with 300 pounds of tools.

This book includes more History of the Awards, Gordon's Law, and 10 discussions of evolution, including speciation and the role of verbal memes in civilization.

Autographed by Author!

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