Announcing the 2007 Darwin Award
Winners!
WENDY is obsessed with fingerloop braids so the winners were
announced, heh, late.  NEW this year: story icons that direct
you to more on each fatal topic, be it crime, guns, water, women, and/or
explosives. CHEERS for Linux guru Greg Lindahl for fixing some serious bugs this month. Soon a powerful new
server will be ours...
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SCIENTISTS! Wendy needs 10 excellent science essays, on par with the
writing of Carl Sagan or Stephen J. Gould. Do you have what it takes to
describe cutting-edge research to a smart layperson? Yes you do! Can you
use extra cash? Yes you can! For more information, please read THIS PAGE.
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Ammo Dumps
Securing an Iraqi ammunition holding area was a bit of a problem when my
unit took over this large piece of real estate. Looters periodically
showed up to steal brass from tank and artillery rounds stored in the
bunkers...
Read on.
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Fatal a-Traction
UK | John, 71, used wood and rope to make a traction device to ease his wife's
neck pain. But applying traction to the neck takes a delicate touch...
Read on.
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Visit the Gift Shop
T-Shirts, Mugs, Darwin Fish! Get Well cards, notepads, pint glasses,
and even condoms--because "Friends Don't Let Friends Reproduce." Also
limited quantities of autographed books, and items hand-made by Wendy.
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Wendy's Corner: Stupid Meme.
I listen to the radio on the
way to Tech Shop, and every day I hear the same advertisement. "This
is Bill Handel with Marginal Legal Advice." What the...? Does that
company have any idea that the phrase "marginal legal advice" means
"poor legal advice"?!!
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Splitting Headache (Near Miss)
September 2007 | A man was splitting seasoned wood early one autumn. One
after another, he would set a log on end and drive his sharp axe through
the log, then toss the split wood onto the pile. He was making light work
of the pile when he came to a log with a particularly large diameter...
Read on.
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A Cow-ardly Death
Cambodia | Unwanted amorous advaces on a heifer resulted in a man's death
at the hooves of the violated bovine. Sounds of a scuffle culminated in
the discovery of his naked body lying beneath the frightened family cow.
Why did he do it?
Read on.
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"Why Wendy Will Win a Darwin Herself" -- Part 2/∞
"For Christmas, my cousin Ian gave me a device that resembles a small
tennis raquet, with metal mesh, only this tennis raquet is electified
with several large batteries. It's a portable bug zapper, a Fly
Taser. Ian cautions, 'Don't touch it, it hurts a lot!' Even when
the device is turned off, the mesh retains an electrical charge. I
can see a dreadful accident in my future..." ~Wendy
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Within these portals lie 670 "Enterprising Demises."
Begin with Darwin Awards, the Near Misses, and Urban
Legends. Review the Rules or FAQs, or read a random story with a click
of the Randomizer
button conveniently placed on every page.
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New
Paperback!
Barnes&Noble.
Booksense,
Amazon,
etc.
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Friendly Links
The 2007
IgNobel Prizes
Awards for scientists engaged in silly research.
"Death The Final Frontier"
Star Trek Urns and
Caskets? I suspected a joke, but Nick, a VP at Eternal Image, assures
me that they really are producing a new line of funerary products for "the
four decades of fan base." I suggest a line of Darwin Awards coffins (with
satin pockets for stray limbs) and canopic jars.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition
that's
troublesome. --Isaac Asimov
Don't miss our mottos!
"Chlorinating the
Gene Pool"
"Where Evolution Hits the Pavement"
"Die and Learn"
"The Tree
of Life is Self-Pruning"
"Next!"
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Changes in Status:
DISQUALIFIED: Hair Today, Gone
Tomorrow... mental illness, not
MAYBE REMOVE?
Sweet Release Sad, but good safety
example.
Gun Safety Training - just not that stupid?
COMBINE:
Blondes and Oil Changes & Happy Camper.
COMBINE Roller
Coaster stories.
Combine spitting contest stories (1, (2))
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Literary Reference
"Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious." -Peter Ustinov
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