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Try a MINIATURE:!:
 
Pennsic 35
Darwin at Pennsic
Did I ever hear an earful! Last year, a knight fell "dead" (i.e. passed
out) on the field, after a minor body blow. Come to find out, his appendix
was removed last weekend, and he's still "stapled shut" from surgery.
Please, hide your knight's helmet if he intends to endanger himself. The
saying goes, fighters have two neurons, one is lost and the other is out
looking for it. Protect your fighters!
The Independent journalist said the Chiurgeons had stories. In 2005, a
woman was taken in with heat exhaustion verging on heat stroke. Attempts
to lower her temperature failed. Finally they removed her garb to apply
ice. The journalist told me, "Her figure was like yours. Beneath her garb,
they found that she was wrapped neck to ankles in plastic wrap," perhaps in
order to lose weight at Pennsic. Removing the plastic wrap brought her
temperature under control. 1. Your date wants to stroke you, not
plastic. 2: DUH! 3: Leave my figure out of it!
Also Pennsic 34, a household's fire wasn't lighting, so the knight
suggested a capful of white gas. His squire heard 'cupful' and poured on
two. The fumes became a situation. The knight, a munitions expert,
said, "we've got to burn it to defuse it." WHOOMPH! A 14-foot column of
hot fire was the result. Onlookers remember the knight's face, uplifted to
the white column. An actor in a play glanced offstage, then hollered,
"Fire!" to the crowded theater. The mushroom cloud could be seen at
Cooper's. The squire is restricted from using accelerants this year.
NO, lightning storm hits and near-misses Do Not Qualify for a Darwin Award,
as one can't predict nature zapping up the whole campground!
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