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Die and Learn

March 2001

Evolution in Action

Darwin Awards celebrate the theory of evolution by commemorating the remains of those who improved our gene pool by removing themselves from it in really stupid ways. Buy a Book! The third Darwin Awards book is packed with over 100 all-new tales of the triumph of nature over mankind. If you're considering sawing through the tree branch directly overhead... stringing a "shell" necklace of live ammunition... installing deadly boobytraps in your own home... you just might be a Darwin winner! Illustrations by Zeebarf and McGookin. "The Darwin Awards... constitute a delicious sermon in support of common sense." -The Baltimore Sun [Buy it!]  [Read More] Banwell Cartoons! RealAudio Feature! Count Your Chickens ( Read the Story ) Stupid Email Quote Our anonymous informant at DIRECTV sends in this actual text from a corporate e-mail: "Employees must not attempt to remove paper jams in copy machines with... letter openers, screwdrivers, or any other tools. Extensive damages are being caused to copy machines." Not to mention the wear and tear on shocked employees! Darwin's Pride and Joy Zeebarf Back in 1999 C. Daniel Boling wrote a song based on the Darwin Awards emails he'd been seeing for awhile. The result is a fabulous folk song that he recently shared with me. Enjoy listening to it from his website, and if you like the music, support the artist by buying his CD! The music. Darwin T-Shirts, Fish, and Hats nothing fishy about this shirt 42 Darwin Mottos

Eleven New Stories! Darwin Awards Sweet Release Guy Fawkes' Gun Powder Scooter Snuff Testing Faith High on Grass At-Risk Survivors Sewer Shower Tied to His Work Personal Accounts Workin' on the Railroad Accident Prone [ Last Month's Stories ] Sky Dive "I've always respected those who push the boundaries of life." Rodd Millner Skydiver & Night Club Bouncer An Australian skydiver plans to be the first man to break the speed of sound during a dive in March 2002. In a flight reminiscent of Lawn Chair Larry's, Rodd Millner will use a high-altitude helium balloon to climb to 40,000 meters, then jump wearing an insulated, pressurized space suit. Special military units limit their high altitude parachuting to 13,000 meters, but not Rodd. You might think that only one idiot is rash enough to plan such a stunt, but he already has competition from a US dive team who hopes to attempt a similar jump this year. Submitted by Parag Shanbhag Read more. Literary Reference "Common sense is perhaps the most equally divided, but surely the most underemployed, talent in the world." -Christine Collange

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