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| Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. |
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(30 December 2000, Missouri) A Kansas City police officer was in a bar
called The Flamingo, looking forward to a musical performance by his
friends. He had only just arrived when a man ran into the bar and
announced that he'd been robbed in the parking lot, as had a second man!
The officer elicited the details of the crime, called for backup, and ran outside, assuming the villian would be long gone. To his surprise, the suspect was still sitting in the pickup truck he had recently car-jacked. The officer approached the man with his gun and his shield drawn for identification. It turned out that the suspect, Torin, had stolen a vehicle with a manual transmission, but he was unable to drive a stick shift. When he saw the officer, he tried to flee, but had trouble putting the truck into reverse. Only the sound of grinding gears disturbed the quiet night, until the officer hauled the incompetent criminal from the immobile car. At that point, Torin challenged the officer to a gun fight -- and was quickly dispatched by the startled officer. A check of the perpetrator's gun revealed it was fully loaded, except for the most important round -- the one in the chamber. There are two morals to this story: if you steal a car, learn how to drive a stick shift FIRST; and if you challenge a police officer to a duel, make sure to load your weapon. The morals of the story are: If you are going to steal a car, know how to drive a stick shift; and if you are going to challenge a police officer to a duel, make sure to load your weapon.
DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2008
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Visit the Darwin Awards Giftshop The Darwin Awards: Evolution in Action
Hardback. 327 pages. Autographed.$15 185 Stories! In the ongoing saga of Survival of the Fittest, meet the thief who steals electrical wires without shutting off the current! Marvel at the would-be pilot who suspends his lawnchair from helium balloons! Learn from the man who peers into a gas can using a cigarette lighter...! This book also includes a History of the Darwin Awards, Darwin Haiku, and a dozen humorous discussions of the implications of evolution, including the origin of idiots, and the role of testosterone. Autographed by Author! |
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