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Darwin Awards
2001 Honorable Mentions
Email a Friend The stupidity displayed by the participants in the following tales stops short of the ultimate Darwin Awards sacrifice. Nevertheless, we salute the spirit and innovation of their misadventures. Next Prev Random

Nailed!
Confirmed True by Darwin
DISQUALIFIED MAY 2008

Darwin says, "Disqualified because I now realize that it was an accident followed by a desperate decision born of dispair."


(23 January 2001, Pennsylvania) Every home needs a handyman for those essential home remodeling tasks. But not every homeowner knows how to get the job done, so professionals are sometimes called in to help. Enter William, 25, whose employer sent him to the home of a Bethlehem man to help renovate the basement.

(1 January 2000, Ohio) Jason was playing around with a nail gun when he shot himself in the head at a New Year's Eve party. But he didn't get medical treatment until the next day when his boss noticed a nasty bruise on his head and sent him to the hospital. A 1-1/2-inch nail was removed from his skull, slightly increasing the airspace already present. (AP)

William was using a portable miter saw that requires quite a bit of concentration. When our hero's attention slipped, so did the saw, which sliced off his hand at the wrist. As if losing a limb weren't bad enough, the injured man proceeded to shoot himself in the head a dozen times with a pneumatic nail gun in an attempt to end his misery.

The homeowner ventured downstairs to check on the remodeling, but found the basement empty. He was about to leave when his dog discovered William whimpering in the corner, nails protruding from his scalp.

The owner of the company arrived at the scene, located the missing limb, wrapped it in a clean plastic sandwich bag, and sent it with William to the hospital.

At least a dozen 1-1/2 inch nails were removed from William's head at St. Luke's Hospital in Fountain Hill, and the severed hand was reattached.

Darwin asks, "Should this story be disqualified?"
Reader Andy Arnold says, "I think Nailed! should be disqualified. Here's why: William was not being stupid. The poor guy accidentally cut off his hand...and tried to kill himself. How is this funny? I feel very sorry for him and strongly feel this should not be a HM. The "stupidity" was a suicide attempt."

Reader Chein Chen says,"I agree that this story should be disqualified as it is not really an act of foolishness but an accident followed by despair."

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2008
Submitted by: Christian C. , John Pawlik, Charles Merriam,
Dan at Sew Splendid, Peter Sanchez, Lee Murrah
Reference: Phil Boyle and Bill Tattersall of The Morning Call Inc.,
CNN.com, Associated Press

 

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Darwin Awards II: Unnatural Selection

Hardback. 240 pages. Autographed.
$15
A fresh collection of magnificent misadventures! Lust, Vanity, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Envy, and Wrath extract an evolutionary toll on the wicked. Salute the owner of an equipment training school who demonstrates the dangers of driving a forklift by failing to survive the filming of his own safety video. Witness the man who becomes a victim of his own strange passion for jumping into rivers. Heed the honest bricklayer who loses a battle of wits with 300 pounds of tools.

This book includes more History of the Awards, Gordon's Law, and 10 discussions of evolution, including speciation and the role of verbal memes in civilization.

Autographed by Author!

 


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