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Darwin Awards
2001 Honorable Mentions
Email a Friend The stupidity displayed by the participants in the following tales stops short of the ultimate Darwin Awards sacrifice. Nevertheless, we salute the spirit and innovation of their misadventures. Next Prev Random

Nailed!
Confirmed True by Darwin
DISQUALIFIED MAY 2008

Darwin says, "Disqualified because I now realize that it was an accident followed by a desperate decision born of dispair."


(23 January 2001, Pennsylvania) Every home needs a handyman for those essential home remodeling tasks. But not every homeowner knows how to get the job done, so professionals are sometimes called in to help. Enter William, 25, whose employer sent him to the home of a Bethlehem man to help renovate the basement.

(1 January 2000, Ohio) Jason was playing around with a nail gun when he shot himself in the head at a New Year's Eve party. But he didn't get medical treatment until the next day when his boss noticed a nasty bruise on his head and sent him to the hospital. A 1-1/2-inch nail was removed from his skull, slightly increasing the airspace already present. (AP)

William was using a portable miter saw that requires quite a bit of concentration. When our hero's attention slipped, so did the saw, which sliced off his hand at the wrist. As if losing a limb weren't bad enough, the injured man proceeded to shoot himself in the head a dozen times with a pneumatic nail gun in an attempt to end his misery.

The homeowner ventured downstairs to check on the remodeling, but found the basement empty. He was about to leave when his dog discovered William whimpering in the corner, nails protruding from his scalp.

The owner of the company arrived at the scene, located the missing limb, wrapped it in a clean plastic sandwich bag, and sent it with William to the hospital.

At least a dozen 1-1/2 inch nails were removed from William's head at St. Luke's Hospital in Fountain Hill, and the severed hand was reattached.

Darwin asks, "Should this story be disqualified?"
Reader Andy Arnold says, "I think Nailed! should be disqualified. Here's why: William was not being stupid. The poor guy accidentally cut off his hand...and tried to kill himself. How is this funny? I feel very sorry for him and strongly feel this should not be a HM. The "stupidity" was a suicide attempt."

Reader Chein Chen says,"I agree that this story should be disqualified as it is not really an act of foolishness but an accident followed by despair."

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2008
Submitted by: Christian C. , John Pawlik, Charles Merriam,
Dan at Sew Splendid, Peter Sanchez, Lee Murrah
Reference: Phil Boyle and Bill Tattersall of The Morning Call Inc.,
CNN.com, Associated Press

 

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Visit the Darwin Awards Giftshop

Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest

Hardback. 304 pages. Autographed.
$15
The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is.

Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head!

123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more.

Autographed by Author!

 


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