Darwin Awards Newsletter -- 2 April 2000 <-- not again... 2001! -->

DARWIN AWARDS HONOR THE REMAINS of those who gave their 
lives in a single-minded effort to improve our gene pool. 
Enjoy!

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LOBSTER VASECTOMY -- 2000 Darwin Award Nominee (Unconfirmed)

(2000, England) This tale proves that crime does pay, if you're 
fishing for elective surgery to go along with your stolen goods. 
A 24-year-old supermarket shoplifter stuffed five lobsters in his 
pants and sprinted for the door, but he never had a chance. The 
violated crustaceans brought the thief to his knees in front of 
startled cashiers when they fastened their powerful claws around 
his delicate parts. 

Doctors were able to remove the animals with pliers. They say the 
thief will fully recover -- except for one small detail. "It was 
a do-it-yourself vasectomy." This man's daring supermarket exploits 
make him one of the few Darwin Award winners to live to tell the tale. 
The supermarket manager declined to press charges, saying the culprit 
has already "gone through enough pain (to) learn his lesson." 
 
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SHEEP SLEEP -- 2001 Darwin Award Nominee (Confirmed)

(9 March 2001, Cairo) Police were baffled to discover a 20-year-old 
Bedouin shepherd shot dead in the middle of the desert. No one else 
was around, and no footprints led to or from the scene of the crime. 

Investigators from Sidi Barrani sifted through the meager clues 
surrounding Mochtar's death, and soon fingered the culprit. The 
Egyptian man had fallen asleep amid his sheep without securing 
his rifle. One moment of neglect, one wooly misstep on the trigger, 
and a speeding slug sentenced the sleeping shepherd to his final 
slumber. 

The unregistered weapon was confiscated from the flock. 
The murderous sheep has been sentenced to ewethanasia.

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MORE DARWIN AWARDS:
God Saves?
http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2001-09.html?0104
Guitars 'n' Guns  
http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1994-04.html?0104

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DARWIN AWARDS: EVOLUTION IN ACTION.
Read the book!  "Don't leave the trees without it."
http://www.darwinawards.com/book/?0104
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TOILET TRAP -- 2001 Honorable Mention (Unconfirmed)
"Man held hostage by portable toilet." 

(31 January 2001, Pennsylvania) A Huntingdon Valley man who dropped 
his keys in a portable toilet became stuck in the facilities while 
trying to rescue them. He hollered for help for 45 minutes, and 
eventually children playing in a nearby field heard his cries and 
alerted their parents. Police were forced to demolish the portable 
toilet to extricate the man, who had been standing in the redolent 
muck without his shoes or pants for an hour and a half. Doctors 
treated him for cuts and bruises, and removed the toilet seat 
wedged around his hips. We speculate that his ego may never recover 
its original size. 
 
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MORE HONORABLE MENTIONS
Planning Ahead  
http://www.darwinawards.com/stupid/stupid2001-09.html?0104
Aircraft Airhead  
http://www.darwinawards.com/stupid/stupid2001-08.html?0104

AND FOUR NEW PERSONAL ACCOUNTS!
* Wasps * Power! * Real Science * XYZ *

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