+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Subject: Darwin Awards Newsletter -- 1 August 2000 THE DARWIN AWARDS salute the improvement of the human genome by honoring those who accidentally kill themselves in really stupid ways. #=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=# CHUTE BOY 2000 Darwin Award Nominee -- Confirmed True by Darwin (14 July 2000, Canada) It was a dare that Sheldon, 25, will literally never take again. He and a group of friends found themselves at a Calgary apartment after an evening spent at a local bar. It was there that a joking challenge was issued. "Who wants to ride the in-house water slide?" The slide was actually a garbage chute. Sheldon volunteered, tumbled into the opening, and his subsequent headlong slide beat the standard elevator service down to the first floor. An unforgiving trash compactor awaited his arrival, and friends administered CPR there until emergency crews arrived at the scene. But they were too late. The 12-story fall had already dispatched Sheldon to his Darwinian demise. #=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=# DO IT YOURSELF, DO YOURSELF IN 2000 Darwin Awards Nominee -- Confirmed True by Darwin (2000, Colorado) Summer is the most blissful of seasons, when our favorite summertime activity -- do it yourself stupidity -- kicks into high gear. Meet Charles, 34, a Denver masonry contractor who created brick and mortar edifices. Charles was in construction. He had worked on houses, he had watched electricians install wiring. He believed this qualified him as a member of the Junior Electrician Society. He figured he could handle any electrical issue that came up around his own home. One day on the job, Charles was apparently bonked in the head by his bricks. He had the great idea! He would build an electric fence in his own backyard. "An electric fence will keep the dogs in." Charles connected a wire to an extension cord, and managed to encircle his backyard with a 120-V strand of wire without mishap. His dogs will not be sued for puppy support with this security system in place! The household became accustomed to the fence, and things settled down to normal, until Charles picked up a passion for gardening. Charles had a real nice set of tomatoes, and I'm not referring to his wife. One day he reached for a tomato, put his hand on the electrified wire, and there's really no need to explain what happened next. Why did this man die? Like other inexperienced people, he thought he knew what he was doing. But his design had two major flaws. Fences constructed for dogs use one-tenth the voltage of cattle fences (which do use 120 volts.) And he needed to install a repeater, which transmits 150-microsec pulses, to hit a cow with a jolt of juice that cuts off in time to avoid creating a pile of rare steaks by the fence. VOTE on this Darwin Award: http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2000-30.html?0008 #=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=# CESIUM INITIATIVE (SIEZING THE INITIATIVE) Personal Account -- Unconfirmed (New York) Stewart had always been interested in science. During a demonstration at his high school, Stewart saw that the elements lithium, sodium, and potassium all react with water. While assessing the periodic table, he noticed they were all in the same row, and became more reactive as they increased in mass. The last naturally occurring element in that column was cesium, an extremely reactive metal that catastrophically explodes in contact with water. Stewart used most of his money to buy a small amount of cesium, just 10 grams or enough to blow up a city block, from eBay with the help of his father and a credit card. When the ampoule of cesium arrived, he took it for a boat ride. After cracking the vacuum-sealed glass container, he threw the cesium out into Lake Erie... and was never seen again. One can only assume that he was instantly blown to smithereens by the chemical reaction. People heard the blast on the coast 5 miles away. Perhaps he should have opted for a less reactive metal, and only blown up a few fish. The lesson? Don't wash your hands with cesium. It will have an adverse affect your health. The moral of this story is, as always, one of the guiding principles of common sense: if you don't know how to do it, don't do it! #=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=# FREEFALL PHYSICS LESSON. stupid lawyer tricks. http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1994-02.html?0008 SKI SAN ANSELMO. there's a moral in there somewhere. http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1998-15.html?0008 NIAGARA FALLS. once more into the breach! http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2000-26.html?0008 PROP ARC SAFETY: know when to duck. http://www.darwinawards.com/personal/personal2000-27.html?0008 #=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=#=# Copyright 2000 DarwinAwards.com +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++