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December 15, 2014
The Evolution Revolution

Homo sapiens sapiens
Endangered Species.

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The Darwin Awards:
in search of smart.




DARWIN AWARD: Race To The Death

August 2014, New York || For most people, the danger of high speed roadways is common sense, and few attempt to cross a major freeway. It is rare for anyone to die from doing exactly that... and then there is Kevin Ward.


THE IDIOTS GUIDE TO SEX.

MEN ARE MORE IDIOTIC THAN WOMEN. Scientific research on sex trends in the Darwin Awards shows striking asymmetry between the number of male and female winners. Thanks Ben Lendrem for your thorough analysis of [Idiots Trending on Darwin Awards.]


DARWIN AWARD: Banana Bandido

July 2014, Costa Rica || A banana plantation was the setting for a Friday evening robbery in Limón. Villegas, 30, lived in the same building as the farm's cafeteria before his fatal slip-up. He was in the process of (breaking into the cafe...)


Honorable Mentions

The HONORABLE MENTION is bestowed on survivors of blunders that flabbergast the rest of us. The judges point a finger at certain individuals who are up and coming in the competition to win a Darwin Award. Recent Honorable Mentions are Mr. Magnetron, and Marshmallow Mouth Gator Guy. The opposite of role models, these living legends are here on Earth to serve as a warning to others!


DARWIN AWARD: Striking It Rich (or, Shafted)

(1) A vodka-swilling pill-popping airline customer.
(2) A potted plant made of plastic.
(3) Airport security video showing the former climbing the latter.
And then came the elevator...


DOUBLE DARWIN AWARD! Some Finnish

MUSICAL THEME: "Boom boom out go the lights!" HINT: Two men collected over 100 frag grenades, bazookas, fuse materials and ammunition from the forests Lapland. (Find out what happened in Kemi, Finland...)


DARWIN AWARD: Crispy Copper Fries

May 2014, Arizona || The mummified remains of a man who was unexpectedly discovered in a Tucson manhole tell their own poignant story. The manhole was opened in May to investigate a (fluctuation in electrical power...)


Man Customizes Car Ignition Sequence To His Peril

(February 2014, United Kingdom) Scott McKimmie's purple Volkswagen Cabriolet would not be considered roadworthy by most people, but to a handy mechanic a flaw can be considered a security feature. ( Read on...)


Darwin Award: Resurrection FAIL

(17 September 2014, Pakistan) Two correspondents nominated the gullible acolyte who volunteered to be killed and resurrected by a holy man--and not a holy man who was experienced with the procedure, but a beginner who thought he'd give it a whirl! ("Religion did him in.)


DARWIN AWARD: Delhi Sandwich

(23 September 2014, India) Life of Pi, move over, Maqsood has a tale to tell. This 19-year-old factory worker joined a White tiger for lunch yesterday in the cat's Delhi zoo home. After being cautioned twice to not climb over the fence enclosing the tiger enclosure, Maqsood climbed over the fence a third time and then swam across the moat over to Tiger Island. ("India zoo gains a meal, loses a patron...")


DARWIN AWARD: Anchorman

(25 May 2014, Georgia) 18-year-old Chance Werner had recently graduated from high school and on the early hours of Sunday morning he was at Lake Allatoona celebrating with friends by playing the Shopping Cart Game. The Shopping Cart Game is evidently popular... (more)


LIVING DARWIN AWARD! The Thing Ring

(May 2014, England) In the interest of public safety, the Darwin Awards editors are releasing this ribald and unsavory event to the public to serve as a warning to adventurous amorous males. EYEWITNESS: "Being part of the emergency services, firemen were called to the A&E Department of a central London hospital to assist in removing a thing ring... (more)


DOUBLE DARWIN! Sports Training

(2 March 2014, Rotterdam, Netherlands) Two apparently intoxicated men dared each other to test their courage against an intercity train at a Rotterdam train station. At 1800 hours on a Sunday night, the station was crowded with more than 300 fans returning from a soccer-match pitting Feyenoord against Ajax at De Kuip, the most beautiful soccer stadium in Holland... (more)


NO DARWIN AWARD: "No Bull, No Bullets!"

3 August 2014, Chicago | NOT a Darwin Award winner: the accidental shooting death of a man who failed to prove that his gun had no bullets, when he pointed the gun at his head and pulled the trigger. Moderators have ruled this recent Illinois shooting death "too common" and lacking the creativity of a true Darwin Award. Sorry, Mr. Zyzanski (rawstory.com)




Slush Pile Palooza

Hi! I'm Wendy, Curator of the Darwin Awards, here with a public service message. Please enjoy a browse in our Slush Pile. The Slush Pile is moderated by volunteers, and the fans and I owe them a round of drinks and fresh popcorn. Check out the Slush Pile archives, the fountain from which the Darwin Awards are fished.


Human Intelligence is MIA,
Presumed Dead.

Evolve! Urges the ghost of Charles Darwin.

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Darwin Awards: Extinction of Species.
"Clap, clap, clap."

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Fave Crook Crapouts

1994 Darwin Award: Short Circuit
1999 Darwin Award: Good Trumps Evil at Church
2002 Darwin Award: Caveat Emptor
2007 Darwin Award: Descent of Man
2009 Darwin Award: Crushing Debt
2008 Darwin Award: On the Piste
2001 Darwin Award: God Saves?
2008 Darwin Award: Thou Shalt Not Steel
2009 Darwin Award: Sparkleberry Lane
2001 Darwin Award: Killing Time
1990 Darwin Award: Wrong Time, Wrong Place
2008 Darwin Award: Slippery When Wet
2007 Darwin Award: Support Group
2007 Darwin Award: Crutch, Meet Crotch
2005 Darwin Award: Kittie Toy
2002 Darwin Award: Chainsaw Insurance
2008 Darwin Award: Payback
2014 Darwin Award: Crispy Copper Fries
2002 Darwin Award: Faulty Aim Fatal
2000 Darwin Award: Shorties: Stupid Human Tricks
1990 Darwin Award: Tired Ammo
2006 Darwin Award: A Slow Burn
2007 Darwin Award: Four Great Ideas
2000 Darwin Award: Home Grown Chute

"Darwin Awards: We watch the watchman watch the watchmen."
Natural selection deems that some individuals
serve as a warning to others.
  Who are we to disagree?
The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors.

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